My boss, Cassie, invited us to go fishing with them a couple weekends ago. Wyatt had a great time, although he spent most of it playing with the worms rather than fishing. It was relaxing and we will definitely go more.
Monday, May 03, 2010
25 Weeks
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
No Uniform Required
Written By: Christina Piper, Her War Her Voice
There is no uniform required to be a military wife. There is no handbook to read or secret handshake to learn. There are no prerequisites to complete or paperwork to be approved (well maybe a little paperwork). The only thing that will get you into this exclusive club is loving a man in uniform. We have no rules to follow, but we do have open arms for all, that say, “I do” to a man that is called to serve his country.
Being a military wife is not without struggles, but we learn how to deal with those struggles. We learn through our falls, and the helping hands of those that have gone before us. We learn through doing and trying again. We learn from not wanting to do anymore but we do it anyway. We are strong, independent, fierce, loud, meek, and quiet. We do not fit into any set mold. We come in many shapes and sizes. We are from every background that can be imagined, and we are the ones that our heroes rely on.
Our pride runs deep, and it is hard for us to admit that we would ever need the help of anyone else. We stand up for our children, and we support our spouses, that do don that uniform. We cry in private and we cry in public when we have to say goodbye again, but we will hold our heads high while doing so. We will love our military children enough for two while he is gone and we will keep his home running, and waiting for his return.
We love without surrender, even if that love may never come home again. We build walls to protect ourselves as best we can, but we leave a key in the pocket of that uniform-wearing man. It is not in us to give up on the hope that he will be fine and that we can handle anything that can come our way. It is not in us to run even when we are curled up on the floor with worry and fear.
There is no uniform required to join our ranks, but know that when you are alone and overwhelmed by what it means to be a military wife, we stand beside you. We stand to your left and right and we will catch you. We will be there even when it seems that no one else is. We are in this together until every one of our uniform-wearing spouses comes home. We may not wear a uniform, but we are a force, a force that will never waiver.
There is no uniform required to be a military wife. There is no handbook to read or secret handshake to learn. There are no prerequisites to complete or paperwork to be approved (well maybe a little paperwork). The only thing that will get you into this exclusive club is loving a man in uniform. We have no rules to follow, but we do have open arms for all, that say, “I do” to a man that is called to serve his country.
Being a military wife is not without struggles, but we learn how to deal with those struggles. We learn through our falls, and the helping hands of those that have gone before us. We learn through doing and trying again. We learn from not wanting to do anymore but we do it anyway. We are strong, independent, fierce, loud, meek, and quiet. We do not fit into any set mold. We come in many shapes and sizes. We are from every background that can be imagined, and we are the ones that our heroes rely on.
Our pride runs deep, and it is hard for us to admit that we would ever need the help of anyone else. We stand up for our children, and we support our spouses, that do don that uniform. We cry in private and we cry in public when we have to say goodbye again, but we will hold our heads high while doing so. We will love our military children enough for two while he is gone and we will keep his home running, and waiting for his return.
We love without surrender, even if that love may never come home again. We build walls to protect ourselves as best we can, but we leave a key in the pocket of that uniform-wearing man. It is not in us to give up on the hope that he will be fine and that we can handle anything that can come our way. It is not in us to run even when we are curled up on the floor with worry and fear.
There is no uniform required to join our ranks, but know that when you are alone and overwhelmed by what it means to be a military wife, we stand beside you. We stand to your left and right and we will catch you. We will be there even when it seems that no one else is. We are in this together until every one of our uniform-wearing spouses comes home. We may not wear a uniform, but we are a force, a force that will never waiver.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Not Enjoying This Pregnancy
Not that its been a painful pregnancy, but I am very uncomfortable already and just wanting to get it over and done with. I am not enjoying the extra pounds or how my belly makes life difficult when dealing with Wyatt. I am having the same trouble I had with Wyatt - I am carrying VERY low and so even maternity pants cut across right where the baby is and the pressure makes my stomach ache and adds to the whole bladder issue etc. Of course, I am happy to cook Kathryn as long as needed - but if I could turn the calendar forward 3.5 months I certainly would!
Umm - My Camera Is Missing
I HAd it a few weeks ago for Easter, I remember taking it out of the car when I cleaned my car the following week. I haven't seen it since. I don't know if it was stolen out of the garage, or if I brought it inside and Wyatt's hidden it somewhere. I hasn't shown up for a couple weeks now though...I've looked in and under the couches and the draws I normally put it in for safe keeping. Soooo...I don't know! I may have to use our old camera just so I can get some pictures put up! Sorry everyone!
Wyatt's ENT and Endocrinologist
Wyatt has had several ear and sinus infections since Eirc left for Iraq. He's been on 3 sets of antibiodics and many sets of ear drops etc. Finally, left ear drum burst and he has lost quite a bit of hearing. We drove to Kansas City (after being on a wiatlist for 6 weeks) to see an ENT. She's scheduled him for surgery on May 21st (Happy Birthday to me) to have his tonsils removed, his adenoids partially removed and a 4th set of tubes placed in his ears.
We are driving the 4hrs round trip to K.C. on May 14th for his pre-op appt with the anethesiologist since they sometimes find it difficult to intubate Wyatt because of his small airway. I really don't expect that there would be any issues with his airway at this point, but they are just being safe.
Its not just a simple outpatient tonsilectomy. We will be staying overnight. Due to the fact that they are doing all three procedures at once, Wyatt is at risk for bleeding issues afterwards and his recovery will be slower (1 week). They have instructed me to set the alarm clock in order to give him his pain meds throughout the nights. He isn't allowed to go to school for a week or go outside, or use his voice etc. I am thinking the recovery will be the hardest part as I am sure he will go crazy couped up inside. I am so happy for him to have the surgeries so that he can get better, but I am dreading the week following.
Luckily, the 21st is Friday so I will have Sat and Sun to get through the worst and then I will go to work the following week and my friend, Sandi will watch him for a few hours while I am work.
I am in the process of getting Wyatt set up with a new Endocrinologist - the person who prescribes his growth hormone shots. We will have to drive to Omaha, Nebraska! That's 3hrs each way :-( I am hoping for a Friday appt so that we can make a week end trip out of it. Apparently, there is a great zoo in Omaha - so that would be a nice treat for Wyatt.
Wish Us Luck!
We are driving the 4hrs round trip to K.C. on May 14th for his pre-op appt with the anethesiologist since they sometimes find it difficult to intubate Wyatt because of his small airway. I really don't expect that there would be any issues with his airway at this point, but they are just being safe.
Its not just a simple outpatient tonsilectomy. We will be staying overnight. Due to the fact that they are doing all three procedures at once, Wyatt is at risk for bleeding issues afterwards and his recovery will be slower (1 week). They have instructed me to set the alarm clock in order to give him his pain meds throughout the nights. He isn't allowed to go to school for a week or go outside, or use his voice etc. I am thinking the recovery will be the hardest part as I am sure he will go crazy couped up inside. I am so happy for him to have the surgeries so that he can get better, but I am dreading the week following.
Luckily, the 21st is Friday so I will have Sat and Sun to get through the worst and then I will go to work the following week and my friend, Sandi will watch him for a few hours while I am work.
I am in the process of getting Wyatt set up with a new Endocrinologist - the person who prescribes his growth hormone shots. We will have to drive to Omaha, Nebraska! That's 3hrs each way :-( I am hoping for a Friday appt so that we can make a week end trip out of it. Apparently, there is a great zoo in Omaha - so that would be a nice treat for Wyatt.
Wish Us Luck!
Iraq 2010
B-Troop 1/6 Cav - We're Proud Of You!
Eric looking handsome in his flight suit.
Stone Kiowa
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
I Will Be Right Here Waiting For You
Bryan Adams Song
Oceans apart, day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice, on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever
Chorus
Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I miss you Eric xoxox
Oceans apart, day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice, on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever
Chorus
Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I miss you Eric xoxox
Friday, February 19, 2010
Baby #2
I had a specialist appt. a couple weeks ago to get blood drawn to test for Down Syndrome and then they will take more blood on March 15th. Its a 2 part test and I cannot wait for the results! The specialists also did an ultrasound to see if the baby was presenting any features that would raise a red flag. The ultrasound tech said that everything was clear as far as her part goes, but to remember that the blood test has to come back to confirm that Down Syndrome can be ruled out.
The tech also looked for signs of Pierre Robin and said at this early stage the jaw looks good, but we'll keep monitoring it as the baby developes and compare unltrasounds etc. It will be very difficult for them to tell if the baby has a cleft or not, but they will try to do some scans closer to delivery time.
I am also being followed to make sure if I get Cholestasis again that it is detected early and the baby is induced. I am thinking that it might be a be a good thing if I get it because then we can schedule a date and see if Eric can try to make it home in time for the birth...that's something for me to deal with later I suppose.
The tech also looked for signs of Pierre Robin and said at this early stage the jaw looks good, but we'll keep monitoring it as the baby developes and compare unltrasounds etc. It will be very difficult for them to tell if the baby has a cleft or not, but they will try to do some scans closer to delivery time.
I am also being followed to make sure if I get Cholestasis again that it is detected early and the baby is induced. I am thinking that it might be a be a good thing if I get it because then we can schedule a date and see if Eric can try to make it home in time for the birth...that's something for me to deal with later I suppose.
Enjoying My Job
I'm really enjoying my job as a Food Service Coordinator for Kansas State University Child Developement Center.
Right now I am designing a program to be incoprorated in the curriculum that includes having the kids plants seeds to be planted in a gardenbed outside. Then we will eventually harvest the veggies and herbs and do nutrition based cooking activities.
I'm also renegotiating our contract with the caterer right now and planning new weekly menus that meet the USDA guidelines. We have several different age groups - infants to school age kids.
Its very rewarding and the hours work wonderfully. My bosses are very flexible with my hours. I need to be in the office between 10am - 1pm, but I have to work 4.5hrs a day. I normally work 10a - 2:30pm.
Wyatt goes to preschool at the center and gets a 50% discount on the tuition. So its very convenient for me to drop off Wyatt upstairs and then go to my office. He can go to school from 7am - 5:30pm, but normally he's just there while I am there. But it will be helpful that he can stay those hourrs when Eric deploys in case I have a Drs appointment or want to go to the gym before or after work, go to the dentist, grocery shopping etc.
I am getting 1 month off for maternity leave and then on month 2 and 3 I will gradually work back up to my regular hours. I can work from home during this transition period or bring the baby into work and keep a pack-n-play in my office or strap the baby to me etc. When the baby is 3 months old it will go into infant care at the center for the few hours I am at work each day - again in the same building and I will have someone to watch the baby while Eric is deployed if I need to go to a Drs appt etc.
I'm feeling positive about my situation while Eric is deployed and that's important and a relief.
Right now I am designing a program to be incoprorated in the curriculum that includes having the kids plants seeds to be planted in a gardenbed outside. Then we will eventually harvest the veggies and herbs and do nutrition based cooking activities.
I'm also renegotiating our contract with the caterer right now and planning new weekly menus that meet the USDA guidelines. We have several different age groups - infants to school age kids.
Its very rewarding and the hours work wonderfully. My bosses are very flexible with my hours. I need to be in the office between 10am - 1pm, but I have to work 4.5hrs a day. I normally work 10a - 2:30pm.
Wyatt goes to preschool at the center and gets a 50% discount on the tuition. So its very convenient for me to drop off Wyatt upstairs and then go to my office. He can go to school from 7am - 5:30pm, but normally he's just there while I am there. But it will be helpful that he can stay those hourrs when Eric deploys in case I have a Drs appointment or want to go to the gym before or after work, go to the dentist, grocery shopping etc.
I am getting 1 month off for maternity leave and then on month 2 and 3 I will gradually work back up to my regular hours. I can work from home during this transition period or bring the baby into work and keep a pack-n-play in my office or strap the baby to me etc. When the baby is 3 months old it will go into infant care at the center for the few hours I am at work each day - again in the same building and I will have someone to watch the baby while Eric is deployed if I need to go to a Drs appt etc.
I'm feeling positive about my situation while Eric is deployed and that's important and a relief.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Deployment Information "From Her War Her Voice"
I thought this would help our non-military friends and family understand how it feels to be a military wife during a deployment.
---------------------------------------------------------------
When he walks out the door to war, you expect to miss him. You expect pain, children to cry. A deployment is a goodbye. In order to mentally get through a deployment, you will go through the 5 stage grieving process.
Denial
This portion will encompass the months before the deployment as well as the farewell. Leading up to a deployment is horrendous because you have to search for a way to prepare yourself for him to possibly never return. You also have to send him off with a smile, make him believe you are okay, that your children will be okay. As well as searching for a way to make memories strong enough to get you through. What you often wind up doing is fighting for most of the time. Not to mention that for security reasons, the deployment dates shift every few days. So, there really is no way at all to prepare yourself. When you think you have done just that, and you are ready for that final kiss, his date will change, and you will have to work through all this again. You want to fight the reality that he will leave. He will leave no matter what.
Anger
This is one of the most shocking aspects of deployments. You expect to be sad, maybe even lonely, but the rage that begins to consume you seems to rear its ugly head out of nowhere. One thing that thoroughly needs to be discussed is that anger with your spouse, or your children, or with civilians, is perfectly natural. Since your fear of his death is what is fueling your emotions, you turn to anger as a source of release.
Bargaining
“If I keep the kids perfectly happy, he will come home.” “If I just stay busy, he will come home.” “If I push my pain and agony to the bottom of my chest and ignore it for a year, he will come home.” “If I never miss a phone call or an instant messenger, he will come home.” “If I am a good army wife, he will come home.” Get the picture?
DepressionThis is the one emotion you fully expect during a deployment. But what knocks you off your feet is that you expect it in the beginning, not at the end. This can be so disheartening because you thought you were “getting better.” You thought that you faced these feelings during and before, and having this overwhelming emotion hit you when he is closer to coming home (or has returned) is heartbreaking. The other aspect that goes along with this is that many wives have to bury this and not fully explore it because it is the stage that often includes child neglect, self-abuse, substance abuse, and discussion of marital problems. This emotion is also often coupled and timed with his return for R & R. Just when you “found your groove,” he came home and you have to let him go. Again.
Acceptance
This can be very deceiving. It isn’t necessarily acceptance of the fact that he is gone. It is learning to make peace with the fact that he may never come home. This is your “what if” moment. What needs to be discussed here most of all is the final confrontation of what a deployment really means: he is putting his life on the line. Sure, this should have sunken in by now, but your mind and heart are too busy going through the other emotions to fully grasp this. Also, the reunion and reintegration will fall into this category. This is a huge issue as this is the stage where both spouses can/will display PTSD symptoms. This is the place where the wife needs to feel a chance to examine herself as opposed to searching for all his issues or her children’s issues. It is also where we need to accept that life continues at home without him. Children grow, grandparents die, friends get married. We wonder "Where do we fit? How do we still maintain some normalcy when everything is so abnormal?".
---------------------------------------------------------------
When he walks out the door to war, you expect to miss him. You expect pain, children to cry. A deployment is a goodbye. In order to mentally get through a deployment, you will go through the 5 stage grieving process.
Denial
This portion will encompass the months before the deployment as well as the farewell. Leading up to a deployment is horrendous because you have to search for a way to prepare yourself for him to possibly never return. You also have to send him off with a smile, make him believe you are okay, that your children will be okay. As well as searching for a way to make memories strong enough to get you through. What you often wind up doing is fighting for most of the time. Not to mention that for security reasons, the deployment dates shift every few days. So, there really is no way at all to prepare yourself. When you think you have done just that, and you are ready for that final kiss, his date will change, and you will have to work through all this again. You want to fight the reality that he will leave. He will leave no matter what.
Anger
This is one of the most shocking aspects of deployments. You expect to be sad, maybe even lonely, but the rage that begins to consume you seems to rear its ugly head out of nowhere. One thing that thoroughly needs to be discussed is that anger with your spouse, or your children, or with civilians, is perfectly natural. Since your fear of his death is what is fueling your emotions, you turn to anger as a source of release.
Bargaining
“If I keep the kids perfectly happy, he will come home.” “If I just stay busy, he will come home.” “If I push my pain and agony to the bottom of my chest and ignore it for a year, he will come home.” “If I never miss a phone call or an instant messenger, he will come home.” “If I am a good army wife, he will come home.” Get the picture?
DepressionThis is the one emotion you fully expect during a deployment. But what knocks you off your feet is that you expect it in the beginning, not at the end. This can be so disheartening because you thought you were “getting better.” You thought that you faced these feelings during and before, and having this overwhelming emotion hit you when he is closer to coming home (or has returned) is heartbreaking. The other aspect that goes along with this is that many wives have to bury this and not fully explore it because it is the stage that often includes child neglect, self-abuse, substance abuse, and discussion of marital problems. This emotion is also often coupled and timed with his return for R & R. Just when you “found your groove,” he came home and you have to let him go. Again.
Acceptance
This can be very deceiving. It isn’t necessarily acceptance of the fact that he is gone. It is learning to make peace with the fact that he may never come home. This is your “what if” moment. What needs to be discussed here most of all is the final confrontation of what a deployment really means: he is putting his life on the line. Sure, this should have sunken in by now, but your mind and heart are too busy going through the other emotions to fully grasp this. Also, the reunion and reintegration will fall into this category. This is a huge issue as this is the stage where both spouses can/will display PTSD symptoms. This is the place where the wife needs to feel a chance to examine herself as opposed to searching for all his issues or her children’s issues. It is also where we need to accept that life continues at home without him. Children grow, grandparents die, friends get married. We wonder "Where do we fit? How do we still maintain some normalcy when everything is so abnormal?".
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Cleo June 1996 - Apr 2009
I loved my Cleo kitty a.k.a Puss-a-roo or Princess Cleopatra. She was a purrific kitty that loved laptime. She was a sweet kitty, a good girl and a lady. May peace be with you my sweetheart. You are missed!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Homecoming Parade
The fraternities and sororities decorated floats for Homecoming
and parades behind them with their chants and cheers.
Wyatt loved that they threw candy out onto the road.
K-State Homecoming
Today we made candy apples and caramel apples before going downtown to trick or treat in Aggieville. It was so much fun going to all the different businesses to get candy. A lot of them had dressed up to pass out the candy or decorated their stores. One of the book shops transformed into a haunted house, which was fun. The sororities and fraternities had a contest to see who could paint the storefront windows the best for Homecoming. It was really festive and a lot of fun.
Wyatt In His Daddy's Kiowa
Wyatt loves getting in the helicopter and pushing ALL the buttons and pretending to shoot stuff.
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