Feeling Sorry For Myself

So I met with the GYN on Thursday and he's scheduled me for surgery on June 7th. My mother is coming out to help (I am so excited to see her). My right ovary is the size of a softball and I'm told it should be the size of a walnut. I have a follow up appt with the surgeon tomorrow to see if he wants to do open surgery or the laproscopy (I think that's how its spelled) which involves a couple small incisions. I'm meeting with another surgeon on June 1st for the gall stones. They can't do both surgeries at once since the gall bladder is close to the stomach and considered a "dirty surgery". Really, I think once my cyst is out I'll be feeling sooo much better. I started crying when I met the GYN and he said he'd take care of the issue and that he was sorry I've been in pain for so long. I am very worried that they might have to remove the entire ovary. The GYN said if I was 43 he would insist on it, but since I am still considering having another child and only 33, it was up to me.

I was feeling really sorry for myself. Getting pregnant and having healthy kids is just something you always take for granted. I miscarried my first pregnancy at 13 weeks, then I got Cholestasis with Wyatt, which is life threatening for the baby and so I had to be induced which was something I did not want to happen, then I had a baby with a cleft AND PRS AND probably some other syndrome, which is probably from my genes, then they tell me its a 50% chance of having another child with the same condition, then I get the cysts and have to stop pumping breast milk which pissed me off since I couldn't even breastfeed like I had dreamed of doing, and now they are telling me I should really have one of my ovaries removed. Oh - I almost forgot, I have multiple gallstones that also need to be surgically removed - this is a side effect of the pregnancy induced cholestasis. I told Eric that, possibly, God or whatever force is out there, might be trying to give us a hint - no more babies! I feel cheated and I feel like a big, fat failure.
I guess I should really just be grateful that I was able to have a child - right?

Wyatt is Sitting and Crawling

Wyatt is sitting on his own and has started crawling. I call it "scooting" rather than crawling, but he's definately mobile!

Dr Brown's Bottles

Wyatt is now 6.5 months old and his jaw has grown out quite a bit so that he is able to suck if he has a large slit in the haberman feeder nipple. The problem is when you put a large slit in a haberman, the chamber doesn't fill up and then you have to stop him from drinking to fill it and he gets upset.

So I tried the Y nipple and Dr Browns bottles today. I still had to make the "y" larger, but it worked like a charm. No more having to stop Wyatt from eating to fill a chamber. Plus, anyone can feed him without being nervous. I am so happy!!!