I had a specialist appt. a couple weeks ago to get blood drawn to test for Down Syndrome and then they will take more blood on March 15th. Its a 2 part test and I cannot wait for the results! The specialists also did an ultrasound to see if the baby was presenting any features that would raise a red flag. The ultrasound tech said that everything was clear as far as her part goes, but to remember that the blood test has to come back to confirm that Down Syndrome can be ruled out.
The tech also looked for signs of Pierre Robin and said at this early stage the jaw looks good, but we'll keep monitoring it as the baby developes and compare unltrasounds etc. It will be very difficult for them to tell if the baby has a cleft or not, but they will try to do some scans closer to delivery time.
I am also being followed to make sure if I get Cholestasis again that it is detected early and the baby is induced. I am thinking that it might be a be a good thing if I get it because then we can schedule a date and see if Eric can try to make it home in time for the birth...that's something for me to deal with later I suppose.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Enjoying My Job
I'm really enjoying my job as a Food Service Coordinator for Kansas State University Child Developement Center.
Right now I am designing a program to be incoprorated in the curriculum that includes having the kids plants seeds to be planted in a gardenbed outside. Then we will eventually harvest the veggies and herbs and do nutrition based cooking activities.
I'm also renegotiating our contract with the caterer right now and planning new weekly menus that meet the USDA guidelines. We have several different age groups - infants to school age kids.
Its very rewarding and the hours work wonderfully. My bosses are very flexible with my hours. I need to be in the office between 10am - 1pm, but I have to work 4.5hrs a day. I normally work 10a - 2:30pm.
Wyatt goes to preschool at the center and gets a 50% discount on the tuition. So its very convenient for me to drop off Wyatt upstairs and then go to my office. He can go to school from 7am - 5:30pm, but normally he's just there while I am there. But it will be helpful that he can stay those hourrs when Eric deploys in case I have a Drs appointment or want to go to the gym before or after work, go to the dentist, grocery shopping etc.
I am getting 1 month off for maternity leave and then on month 2 and 3 I will gradually work back up to my regular hours. I can work from home during this transition period or bring the baby into work and keep a pack-n-play in my office or strap the baby to me etc. When the baby is 3 months old it will go into infant care at the center for the few hours I am at work each day - again in the same building and I will have someone to watch the baby while Eric is deployed if I need to go to a Drs appt etc.
I'm feeling positive about my situation while Eric is deployed and that's important and a relief.
Right now I am designing a program to be incoprorated in the curriculum that includes having the kids plants seeds to be planted in a gardenbed outside. Then we will eventually harvest the veggies and herbs and do nutrition based cooking activities.
I'm also renegotiating our contract with the caterer right now and planning new weekly menus that meet the USDA guidelines. We have several different age groups - infants to school age kids.
Its very rewarding and the hours work wonderfully. My bosses are very flexible with my hours. I need to be in the office between 10am - 1pm, but I have to work 4.5hrs a day. I normally work 10a - 2:30pm.
Wyatt goes to preschool at the center and gets a 50% discount on the tuition. So its very convenient for me to drop off Wyatt upstairs and then go to my office. He can go to school from 7am - 5:30pm, but normally he's just there while I am there. But it will be helpful that he can stay those hourrs when Eric deploys in case I have a Drs appointment or want to go to the gym before or after work, go to the dentist, grocery shopping etc.
I am getting 1 month off for maternity leave and then on month 2 and 3 I will gradually work back up to my regular hours. I can work from home during this transition period or bring the baby into work and keep a pack-n-play in my office or strap the baby to me etc. When the baby is 3 months old it will go into infant care at the center for the few hours I am at work each day - again in the same building and I will have someone to watch the baby while Eric is deployed if I need to go to a Drs appt etc.
I'm feeling positive about my situation while Eric is deployed and that's important and a relief.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Deployment Information "From Her War Her Voice"
I thought this would help our non-military friends and family understand how it feels to be a military wife during a deployment.
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When he walks out the door to war, you expect to miss him. You expect pain, children to cry. A deployment is a goodbye. In order to mentally get through a deployment, you will go through the 5 stage grieving process.
Denial
This portion will encompass the months before the deployment as well as the farewell. Leading up to a deployment is horrendous because you have to search for a way to prepare yourself for him to possibly never return. You also have to send him off with a smile, make him believe you are okay, that your children will be okay. As well as searching for a way to make memories strong enough to get you through. What you often wind up doing is fighting for most of the time. Not to mention that for security reasons, the deployment dates shift every few days. So, there really is no way at all to prepare yourself. When you think you have done just that, and you are ready for that final kiss, his date will change, and you will have to work through all this again. You want to fight the reality that he will leave. He will leave no matter what.
Anger
This is one of the most shocking aspects of deployments. You expect to be sad, maybe even lonely, but the rage that begins to consume you seems to rear its ugly head out of nowhere. One thing that thoroughly needs to be discussed is that anger with your spouse, or your children, or with civilians, is perfectly natural. Since your fear of his death is what is fueling your emotions, you turn to anger as a source of release.
Bargaining
“If I keep the kids perfectly happy, he will come home.” “If I just stay busy, he will come home.” “If I push my pain and agony to the bottom of my chest and ignore it for a year, he will come home.” “If I never miss a phone call or an instant messenger, he will come home.” “If I am a good army wife, he will come home.” Get the picture?
DepressionThis is the one emotion you fully expect during a deployment. But what knocks you off your feet is that you expect it in the beginning, not at the end. This can be so disheartening because you thought you were “getting better.” You thought that you faced these feelings during and before, and having this overwhelming emotion hit you when he is closer to coming home (or has returned) is heartbreaking. The other aspect that goes along with this is that many wives have to bury this and not fully explore it because it is the stage that often includes child neglect, self-abuse, substance abuse, and discussion of marital problems. This emotion is also often coupled and timed with his return for R & R. Just when you “found your groove,” he came home and you have to let him go. Again.
Acceptance
This can be very deceiving. It isn’t necessarily acceptance of the fact that he is gone. It is learning to make peace with the fact that he may never come home. This is your “what if” moment. What needs to be discussed here most of all is the final confrontation of what a deployment really means: he is putting his life on the line. Sure, this should have sunken in by now, but your mind and heart are too busy going through the other emotions to fully grasp this. Also, the reunion and reintegration will fall into this category. This is a huge issue as this is the stage where both spouses can/will display PTSD symptoms. This is the place where the wife needs to feel a chance to examine herself as opposed to searching for all his issues or her children’s issues. It is also where we need to accept that life continues at home without him. Children grow, grandparents die, friends get married. We wonder "Where do we fit? How do we still maintain some normalcy when everything is so abnormal?".
---------------------------------------------------------------
When he walks out the door to war, you expect to miss him. You expect pain, children to cry. A deployment is a goodbye. In order to mentally get through a deployment, you will go through the 5 stage grieving process.
Denial
This portion will encompass the months before the deployment as well as the farewell. Leading up to a deployment is horrendous because you have to search for a way to prepare yourself for him to possibly never return. You also have to send him off with a smile, make him believe you are okay, that your children will be okay. As well as searching for a way to make memories strong enough to get you through. What you often wind up doing is fighting for most of the time. Not to mention that for security reasons, the deployment dates shift every few days. So, there really is no way at all to prepare yourself. When you think you have done just that, and you are ready for that final kiss, his date will change, and you will have to work through all this again. You want to fight the reality that he will leave. He will leave no matter what.
Anger
This is one of the most shocking aspects of deployments. You expect to be sad, maybe even lonely, but the rage that begins to consume you seems to rear its ugly head out of nowhere. One thing that thoroughly needs to be discussed is that anger with your spouse, or your children, or with civilians, is perfectly natural. Since your fear of his death is what is fueling your emotions, you turn to anger as a source of release.
Bargaining
“If I keep the kids perfectly happy, he will come home.” “If I just stay busy, he will come home.” “If I push my pain and agony to the bottom of my chest and ignore it for a year, he will come home.” “If I never miss a phone call or an instant messenger, he will come home.” “If I am a good army wife, he will come home.” Get the picture?
DepressionThis is the one emotion you fully expect during a deployment. But what knocks you off your feet is that you expect it in the beginning, not at the end. This can be so disheartening because you thought you were “getting better.” You thought that you faced these feelings during and before, and having this overwhelming emotion hit you when he is closer to coming home (or has returned) is heartbreaking. The other aspect that goes along with this is that many wives have to bury this and not fully explore it because it is the stage that often includes child neglect, self-abuse, substance abuse, and discussion of marital problems. This emotion is also often coupled and timed with his return for R & R. Just when you “found your groove,” he came home and you have to let him go. Again.
Acceptance
This can be very deceiving. It isn’t necessarily acceptance of the fact that he is gone. It is learning to make peace with the fact that he may never come home. This is your “what if” moment. What needs to be discussed here most of all is the final confrontation of what a deployment really means: he is putting his life on the line. Sure, this should have sunken in by now, but your mind and heart are too busy going through the other emotions to fully grasp this. Also, the reunion and reintegration will fall into this category. This is a huge issue as this is the stage where both spouses can/will display PTSD symptoms. This is the place where the wife needs to feel a chance to examine herself as opposed to searching for all his issues or her children’s issues. It is also where we need to accept that life continues at home without him. Children grow, grandparents die, friends get married. We wonder "Where do we fit? How do we still maintain some normalcy when everything is so abnormal?".
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